It's one of those times when I'm grateful of having multiple thought processes.

Oh, that would translate into a controlled mental disorder, but I don't have a mental disorder. If I did I wouldn't be walking on the streets right now.


It's not true, you know. When one side takes over, it's not true that the other side will wake up without a clue on what happened, unless your case is so serious that one side "falls unconscious at the things the other side does".

You know everything that each side does. You're in the middle, technically, unless you take up a side. And trust me, staying in the middle is very, very hard.

But it's possible. It is possible to maintain your objectiveness and maintain your observer's point of view. So long you don't pick sides, if you look at which side weighs more, and carry out what that side has proven, you're still okay.

That's why I say it's hard. Your morals and principles will get in the way. And once those two do you can't go back. You will never know, from that moment on, whether you can get back to being an observer. You'll be biased for the rest of your life, and that's when the disorder kicks in.

There's someone else whom I know who has had this point of view from young. She's lived through it being an observer, respected for being one.

Sometimes, one side wins over the other and their morals go all wrong. This isn't the dark side - this is the 'logic form'. It takes on what you think should be the end result and bashes to the end. But sometimes the other side - the 'morality core' - wins. It takes logic base and the longer route - usually to the better of others instead of the self.

In actual truth, it doesn't matter which side wins. Most of the time, it's the observer's decision, and that's what lets the observer control his own input/output base formulas. If you find me using mechanical terms like logic output and key system database/analytic forum base formula tabulation, then feel free to substitute them with some other term you feel comfortable with - if you can understand me, that is.

You see, there is one side that is understandable under any circumstance. The other side cannot be understood at all. Those sides are responsible to the thought process in us. Those two work in unison - or sometimes against each other - to formulate your progress, generate emotions, control your feelings, manipulate your understanding, even control your every move. Those two control you in every way - thoughts, emotions, feelings, movement, wants, needs, likes, dislikes, everything. Everything!!

Face it. In this world, you're just another puppet in the hands of a master who knows what he's doing - and he couldn't care any more for our livelihood. That's good, you moron, because it shows that master is trying his very best to lead us into what we should be in - and if I'm wrong, I don't care, because there's the other alternative: you're the slave.

Whichever way you look at it, you can't deny it. The problem comes when others, kin especially, take advantage of that weakness.

How would you know you're being manipulated by someone (or worse, someTHING) that you don't want controlling you?

Well, that's easy - you DON'T. The end.

Really. There is no clear-cut way unless - unless - you cut your morals and emotions out of the picture entirely. After that you evaluate your self-worth - and with that you can see if you're being controlled or not.

There is nothing more great than the human emotion, if I'm not mistaken, in the current field. It overwhelms. It simply overwhelms everything else. The next thing that comes with it in an inevitable package are morals.

Simply put, you have to destroy the humanity in you to figure out what you've been living for all this while. Because this sort of equation requires clear thought - Deep Thought - in a scale beyond normal human synthenematics. And no, that's not a word found in the dictionary.

But in case you really want to figure out, consider these from a point of view where you see yourself as neither the hero of your life nor the complete sore loser that you really are. Arranged from easiest to calculate to the hardest to perceive, the variables are:

Emotive complex. Morality sector. Life expectancy. Educational value over educational worth. Morality vortex integer. Integrated morality indice. Supersubverse emotive function. Inclined morality/emotive function. Educational function base. Base formulative sector over emotional output. Input sector frequency. Indice frequency analysis. Subverse universal indicative analytic. Graphic frequency. Self worth. Belief sector credit. Belief function. Morality over belief unit sector. Biouniversal indicational morality sector over belief function sector. Core analytics. Core function analytic graphical system. Core mind influx system. Core morality influx system. Overuse rule. Key integral morality vortex. Port system influx unit. Belief influx core analytical position. East line position. Cross manipulation. Morality over base incise cross manipulation multiplier. Understanding control unit base. Cross factor. Cross factor base initiation flux circuit unit base. Loss calculation error. Base unit calculation error base. Cross manipulation error base. Soft unit calculation base. Large base unit calculation error factor. The distance between Port Sarim and Earth. And finally, what you've got to lose.

To be frank, I think it'd be easier to just keep being manipulated. Would you kill yourself only to find out what you've been doing so far?

Not unless you can think like an observer.






Arshad.