Okay, hi, here I am. I'm not in my lala land anymore because I'm still writing part two (I think there are fourteen or so parts. It's bloody long though, so what the heck).

Oh, who am I kidding. I fell for someone during the camp!!! CAKE! WARNING: Stereotypical Response Incoming --- OMFGWTFBBQ!!

How on Earth did that happen to this stupid, immature, overweight, noisy, senseless, hurtful, insane, lazy, stupid, overweight, immature, noisy, repeatable, fat moron??

I'm still drawing out a blank for all the cares in the world. It's like nothing matters to me any more.


Oh yeah, by the way, what I said on top was a lie. You didn't catch it did you? Is it because I can lie well or I lie too badly?

Oh wait no, the sentence after the OMFGWTFBBQ was true. Anything above it is a lie.

So do I just sit in one corner and cry and hope someone turns around and says, "Hey, there's a moron there crying like a baby!". Well, at least it shows I'm getting some sort of bloody overrated attention, but would it matter anyhow?

I feel fucked up right now, seriously. It's the sort of feeling you get when you nuke Japan and find out your whole family was on vacation there that day and you dropped it pin-point right on top of them.

It's some sort of resentment (I never use the following words) I guess (/I never use the following words). Everywhere I look, I see people smiling, I see joy. I see them getting birthday cakes. I see them getting presents during Christmas. I see them getting phone calls when they're sick at home. I see them laughing with their family over dinner. I see them going out together every weekend. I see them getting 'Get Well' cards. I see them getting concerned faces when they're injured. I see them visit other people and have fun. I see them getting surprises from other people. I see them getting big parties for some piece of shit they've done.

I see them get straight 'A's in school. I see them get famous in newspapers. I see them eat what they enjoy on special days. I see them enjoy what they eat on other days. I see them get called prodigies. I see them getting money from the president for digging up shit, playing an undersized guitar on their shoulder, jamming keys together and who the bloody fuck knows. I see them visiting other countries. I see them meet new friends and still keep old ones. I see them happy. I see them not being ignored for whatever piece of shit they do with their ugly constipated faces. I see them happy. I see them bloody happy. I see them bloody happy all over my fucked up ass.

I wish I could fuck them up so bad they'd regret being born.

When was the last time I got a birthday cake? When was the last time I got a present for anything? When was the last time I got a phone call when I was sick? When was the last time I laughed with my family over dinner? When was the last time I went out with my family? When was the last time I got a 'Get Well' card from anyone? When was the last time I got a phone call when I was sick? When was the last time anyone was concerned about me? When was the last time I got a surprise from my friends or family? When was the last time I had ever been to a party?

When was the last time I appeared in the news for my tantrums? When was the last time I ate what I enjoyed? When was the last time I was called "mildly stupid"? When was the last time the president saw me? When was the last time I'd been overseas? When was the last time my old friends didn't abandon me? When was the last time I wasn't ignored for what I did? When was the last time I wanted to fuck someone up so badly they'd regret being born!?

I tell you, NEVER! NEVER!! NEVER!!!!!!

NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You bloody hell expect me to get straight 'A's when you can't even see what good I've done so far? Tell you what, mother fucking assholes, even if I got straight 'A's you'd still see faults in me and you'd still say I'm a moron - because ONE you ignore my 'A's, and TWO you're just too fucked up on being a lot more prouder than anyone else just because I worked for the SHIT I'm getting!

I have one 'A', three 'B's, three 'C's and one 'F'.

Other people are getting no 'A's, no 'B's, four 'C's and four 'F's. Those bastard bitches are getting iPods and a fucking new computer over the holidays. FUCK YOU MAN, I'M GETTING BULLSHIT COMMENTS LIKE I HAVE NO FUTURE AND I'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST SECONDARY THREE. THEY SAY IT'S A MIRACLE I MADE IT PAST PSLE. FUCK YOU MAN, FUCK YOU ALL!!!






You know what? This is where I vent my anger, morons. Take it away from me and who the fuck knows what I'll do. I might start with that bag of ecstasy in my cupboard, or maybe get a cigar or two from my friends on the fifth floor - friends that abandoned me the moment I stepped into the Express stream in secondary school.

Oh yeah, the results I'm getting? Call it mediocre for an Express student. The results those fucking bitches are getting? They're from Express too, you assholes, go fuck your eyes out at what they do and what they get. Their excuse? "Subject so hard mah how to study all so many de teacher teach oso i dun understand how to study le".

My excuse? Oh wait, I don't have an excuse. You know why? Because everyone says it's my fault.

They say I'm becoming someone who isn't even fit to sit in school.

I'll tell you who isn't fit to sit in school. The complete package would include the following:

1. He smokes.
2. He takes drugs.
3. He joins a gang.
4. He joins a gang fight.
5. He curses all sorts of vulgarities too vulgar to be in a dictionary.
6. He goes out and comes back late at night after clubbing.
7. He goes clubbing.
8. Has a fucked up history in jail.
9. Has held a knife at someone before, not just chicken.
10. Has held a knife like a weapon.
11. Has stabbed someone.
12. Goes about slashing his hand like some stupid emo kid.
13. Steals, big time.
14. Plays Grand Theft Auto and plans to make it real.
15. Skips school like skipping the vegetables.
16. Has actually abused someone.

Not the forget these two: Gone against their parents so far that they're afraid of him, and [Enter your worst nightmare of your kid here].

Oh, and the last one.

19. Took his own life.

In my opinion, this is the worst. For one thing, if you took your own life and went around, everyone would run away from you. Heck, no one would even want you near them.

You know what? That's how I feel. I feel like a loser. Even my friends are calling me a sore loser. But isn't that who I am?

I'm just a sore loser, aren't I. The world doesn't need me.






.Arshad